While it meant a severe loss in accura – ACCURACY IS OVERRATED. Usually. It's as if the writer of The Fantastic Four, Stan Lee, had dinner reservations and wanted to wrap the story up. Haters will point to its low fire rate of 1 round per 10 min but who needs good fire rate when you can get GOOD EXPLOSIONS! Even if he needs to be silent, there is this thing called a throwing knife. And don't tell us he's never heard of one, or has some obscure religious aversion to them--Oddjob uses one earlier in the film. But, not content to stick to plain old arrows with maybe a flaming one every once in a while, Green Arrow thought he'd get innovative. Want to put your hand on the end there to hold it up like a rifle? Like a lot of ridiculous fictional weapons, the obvious uselessness of the Krull Glaive is explained away by it being "magic." If you're throwing it down with some superpowered madman hell bent on ruling the universe, you probably want something a little stronger than a puff of air. However, the PHASR has one problem: The United Nations banned blinding weapons in 1995, according to an addendum to the Geneva Conventions. They came out with those about 1000 years ago. You know what else can do that? Sure, you could say the same about the cool two-bladed lightsaber in The Phantom Menace, but at least that could deflect lasers. It's clumsy, heavy and, because you need two hands to use it, it has almost no reach. Marines), (Image credit: E.P. The plunger isn't the Dalek's main weapon--that would be the egg whisk thing to the left--but it's still pretty useful. Why not just fire the energy? If we could make fictional weapons real, there's no limit to the ass we could kick. From lightning bolts to dolphins, here's a list of some of the most outlandish and bizarre military weapons ever dreamed up. Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. Visit our corporate site. The heat generated by the chickens could keep the project warm enough to function. Having quickly run through, apparently, the only three good arrow ideas in the universe, he wound up with glue arrows and net arrows and fire extinguisher arrows and a boomerang arrow. What's cooler than boxing? It isn't that it looks like a camera from the twenties. HORRIBLE! Oh, by the fires of agony that swirl in my tortured heart, I declare this gunsword lamer than the last Cure album! It just nullifies. The saddest part about the boxing glove arrow is that in order for it to be even plausibly aerodynamic, the boxing glove has to be shrunk down to about the size of a baby's fist. The Kiwi superweapon was a METAL BOX fitted with MACHINE GUNS bolted on to a MOTORTRUCKING TRACTOR. Measuring 35ft of pure steel and love for the Fatherland, the WindKanone was an artillery piece that ran on compressed air and gave out unholy puffs of ASS DESTRUCTION. An exhibit at the American History Museum in Washington, D.C., details the history of this avian instrument of war. It looks pretty cool, and considering Chewbacca can do a pretty good job of tearing your head off without a weapon, you'd assume whatever he's carrying is ten times as badass as, say, whatever Han is carrying. In this article, we look at 7 of the dumbest weapons ever made in history an- kpogfsif inbgigiokfilegwb b HELPbjiosjbov… Knock Knock! This thing makes the Batarang well thought-out by comparison, as the only thing this is good for is accidentally slicing open your fingers about three times a day when you go to take it off your head. The goal? Marines) Well, the gunsword is also a revolver, with a tiny barrel that runs the length of the blade. The ground gets really, really cold in winter, making it hard for all the equipment in the mine to work. If something goes BOOM, BAM, or BOTH it ain’t DUMB. I'm trying to think of a good name for my axe I PvP with on a McMMO server. Or, barring that, a pulse rifle from Aliens? They're fast, deadly and let you attack from a distance without having to resort to the guns that are so frowned upon in the superhero world. Enter the "Big Dog," a robotic creature built by the company Boston Dynamics. It's a triple sword. One army recruit who underwent experiments with the substance described experiencing some bizarre dreams, as well as feeling restless, having trouble focusing and suffering headaches. Not because Germany and Russia were busy devouring Poland, not because WW2 had started but because there were no EXPLOSIONS. Yeah, keep telling yourself that Blue. Please refresh the page and try again. Never has a fictional weapon so beautifully illustrated the old adage, "never bring a knife to a gun fight." Robot dog (Image credit: Clayton Filipowicz/U.S. Never mind that emo kid up there looks like he could barely lift a hanky to dab away his tears at the end of Twilight, let alone a massive sword, what you're probably wondering is how the hell this thing even works. Source: Christos Tzeremes. How about long-distance boxing? It's that there isn't even a half-assed attempt to explain how it's supposed to work. Why compromise on one when you can kill FOUR DUCKERS with one. Also janitors, plumbers, housewives and, you know, anyone who needs to plunge. Hang on to your asses, kids: As amazing as that clip up there was, we're afraid it only made the triple sword appear awesome. Receive news and offers from our other brands? Sure it's three perfectly aligned blades are awesome for slicing bread, but pretty much make it three times as hard to stab somebody. In a universe where phasers and disruptors are commonplace, why the hell would anyone carry around a boomerang so huge and heavy that it can't even do boomerang stuff? Future US, Inc. 11 West 42nd Street, 15th Floor, Another project, called Project Pigeon, was an effort to create a pigeon-guided bomb. The weapon system also had no safety feature; once the warhead was fired, it could not be aborted. 1939 was a dark year for the world. Pretty much the only use for this thing would be to mail it to the enemy the day before the battle in gift wrap, and pray they're stupid enough to use it. That means it's triple cool, right? One problem? Developed by the US military at a cost of $800,000, this bad boy is still not in the market as it is found to be too impractical for boring real-life situations. You may be thinking that revolvers are a hassle and why not make the sword automatic so it wouldn't take forever to reload, but that's really only scraping the surface of the how retarded the gunsword is. Unfortunately, for the wimps at the Army, the Tank was just too badass for them to handle and they rejected the Best Sexy Tank for use in their forces. And be sure to view the lovely ladies in Cracked.com's Top Picks or we'll be forced to use our awesome bat'leh skills against you. This weapon won't kill you; it will just blind you with its bedazzling laser beam. Humans have been trying to kill each other for our entire existence as a species, and in that time, we've developed a lot of clever and outright silly ways to accomplish that goal. Records are spotty, and the stories told around campfires are probably more legend than fact, but every little Dalek soldier grows up listening to the tale of the ancient Dalek warrior Lenny, the resourceful janitor who used his plunger to single-handedly fend off an entire battalion of overflowing toilets in the Great Sewage War. hide. Either manipulate neural pathways or give people special "vitamins" that could protect against such assaults, according to a 2007 presentation on the project. In some cases, the resultant creations had been utterly ridiculous. As for the blinding light, a trip to Sunglasses Hut renders that feature useless. So the next time you try to use it as a gun, it's going to blow your other hand off. 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The Fantastic Four would go on to save the Earth again with the Total Eradicator (Stan Lee had Rangers tickets), the Super Eraser (when his brother was in town) and the Mighty Make-Bad-Thing-Go-Awayer (this time he just didn't give a shit). The hero, Prince Colwyn, has to find the glaive, find the lair of the beast who has attacked his kingdom and kill it, all while maintaining his perfectly blow-dried hair and beard.