A vast body of research shows that the skill of self-compassion can deeply calm and heal us. Center for Mindful Self-Compassion. I see where you're coming from, but you're not going about this in the best way." You take the wind out of its sails and make room for a motivational, self-compassionate voice instead. When Man … Much like a firefighter doesn’t want to open a hot door because the fire inside the room will rush out looking for more oxygen—something known as backdraft—sometimes when we swing the door open we may experience unpleasant, painful feelings like anger, frustration, or rage. We appreciate your patience. Omega: Is kindness always about having a soft approach? Sometimes being compassionate means firmly saying "no" to something or acting to stop a bad or dangerous behavior, like if a parent yells at a child to get them out of the street. All Rights Reserved. Some of those experiences will feel good, some won’t. This can happen especially to people who had a past experience where compassion was coupled with suffering or to someone who had an extreme situation of abuse or neglect and compassion wasn’t forthcoming. The yin side is comforting, soothing, and nurturing—this is what generally springs to mind when someone mentions kindness or self-compassion. The active Yang side self-compassion—how to see the truth of a situation with courage, protect yourself, and stand strong with others in the face of hostility or harm. This is a much more successful way to change behaviors around things like exercise, diet, smoking, drugs, etc. The Yin Yang Self-Meditation gives the listener a brutally honest view in the artist’s mind, exposing personal experiences, struggles and worries. Please note: Refund requests over 120 days from the purchase date will receive a check, as funds cannot be returned to the credit card due to fraud protection policies. Racism, self-discipline, relationships and other subjects are shared by Charlotte over So, while Yin symbolizes darkness, water, intuition, and the ability to nurture life, Yang constitutes momentum, luminosity, expansion, and fire. Often that voice is an internalized version of someone who was influential to us when growing up, like a parent or a caretaker. In the years since Kristin Neff and her colleagues first identified the trait of self-compassion, we’ve learned that being kind to ourselves does not weaken us. But there’s also a yang side, which is about protecting, providing, and motivating ourselves or others. We’re cultivating within us a goodwill toward our existence, no matter what is happening. We’re going to have moments in life that just suck—moments that are uncomfortable or even traumatic. This is a sign that you are moving in the right direction, but you may want to seek support from a professional to help you work with this outpouring of difficult feelings. We are empowered by our connection with others. Briefly put, the meaning of yin and yang is that the universe is governed by a cosmic duality, sets of two opposing and complementing principles or cosmic energies that can be observed in nature. We want to meet whatever we encounter with some degree of kindness so it loses its hold over us, so we don’t get stuck in a lingering, ruminating, shame-driven spiral of bad feelings that could lead to depression or despair. But there’s also a yang side, which is about protecting, providing, and motivating ourselves or others. Steven: This is an idea we often come up against when talking about self-compassion with men.

What we’re actually doing is cultivating a different relationship with our experiences in life. Omega: Is self-compassion practice about making us feel good?

You then acknowledge the voice and say something like, "Thanks for trying to help me and keep me safe, or have a better relationship, or live longer (whatever it may be), but I don't need your help at this point.

She is widely recognized as one of the world’s leading experts on self-compassion, being the first to operationally define and measure the construct over 15 years ago. For items purchased from Sounds True that are manufactured by other companies, we indicate the warranty period in the product description. How do you talk to yourself? Erica Ariel Fox: What if the Problem is You? We like to say self-compassion is a practice of good will, not good feelings.

Kristin Neff, Ph.D. is an Associate Professor in Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. In fact, just the opposite is true: it makes us more confident, grounded, and resilient amid crisis. How to Win from Within, Sarah Blondin: Kneeling at the Doorway of Your Heart, Elizabeth Lesser: When Women Are the Storytellers, the Human Story Changes, Standing Together, And Stepping Up Tami Simon, Finding Beauty in a Broken World Terry Tempest Williams. The kindness is fierce, that’s the momma bear, “No! The theory of Yin and Yang tells us that everything that surrounds us is made up of two opposite forces that harmoniously unify to favor movement and, in turn, change. We’re human. It’s a compassion that is a little more active, a little firmer, a little more stereotypically masculine. She co-authored two books on MSC... Self-Compassion for Healthcare Communities, MSC Circles of Practice (ongoing, drop-in), MSC Community for Deepening Practice (8 months), Free Online Meditation Sessions (ongoing, drop-in), Insights at the Edge podcast episode with Kristin Neff, The Yin and Yang of Self-Compassion: Cultivating Kindness and Strength in the Face of Difficulty, Common Humanity ⁠— remembering this is part of life, Mindfulness ⁠— being mindful of our struggle or pain. We stand together with our brothers and sisters in strength. If a Sounds True product fails to meet your expectations—for any reason—simply return it with receipt for a full refund. And then mindfulnessis that real sense of clarity, “This is not OK.” So it’s a differe… All downloadable audio and video titles are also covered by a one-year guarantee. In most cases, they were acting out their plan to keep you safe and push you to succeed. But compassion has a yin and a yang side.
And all of us—especially women—need it more than ever.

Yin and yang (or yin-yang) is a complex relational concept in Chinese culture that has developed over thousands of years. But there also a fierce "momma bear" side of self-compassion. Self-compassion can make a world of difference when someone inevitably relapses with these behaviors, too. Omega: Can self-compassion practices make people feel worse? Self-compassion practices can help everyone, but not everyone will be able to approach it in the same way. We unconditionally guarantee your satisfaction with all Sounds True products for one year when purchased via our website or catalog.

Due to COVID-19, our customer service response times are delayed. They can help you slowly open the door and then back off—to titrate the experience so you can tolerate it over time. Omega: How does self-compassion help us stand up against our inner critic? Can you look underneath that voice and see where it came from and how it might be trying to keep you safe in some way? We’re subject to making mistakes and that gets left out of the inner critic’s version of how you should be. Join top leaders in the field of compassion to learn about the major compassion programs, compassion training, and more. This deeper self is the health of all humans, the balance between nature & the human soul, yin & yang, man & anima, woman & animus. In the years since Kristin Neff and her colleagues first identified the trait of self-compassion, we’ve learned that … With Mindful Self-Compassion we don’t fight it—we get curious about it and see where it comes from. In addition to her pioneering research into self-compassion, she co-created the Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) program and co-founded the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion with her colleague Chris Germer. There are many diverse ways to alleviate suffering, and compassion and connection are at the heart of all of them.

Self-compassion has both a gentle and a fierce side to help you manage your inner critic and face whatever life sends your way, says Mindful Self-Compassion teacher Steve Hickman. The yin side is comforting, soothing, and nurturing—this is what generally springs to mind when someone mentions kindness or self-compassion.

For instance, when self-compassion is aimed at protecting ourselves, it feels like fierce, empowered clarity. 100% Sounds True Guarantee We stand by our products ». Steven: There is a phenomenon we encounter sometimes called backdraft. Steven: Generally if you have a voice telling you you're not good enough, you're not smart enough, or whatever negative message it’s saying, the tendency is to fight back against it. Steven: We like to say self-compassion is a practice of good will, not good feelings. Use left/right arrows to navigate the slideshow or swipe left/right if using a mobile device, Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program, choosing a selection results in a full page refresh, press the space key then arrow keys to make a selection. A voice that wants the best for you but for very different reasons. But compassion has a yin and a yang side. —Steven Hickman. In these cases, someone may put their hand on their heart and find it hot with accumulated suffering. That is not OK. You will go no further.” Common humanity, that’s that “me too” feeling. We have an exercise that invites people to think of a behavior that they would like to change, and to think about what happens when they do the behavior that they don’t want to do. One of the biggest potential pitfalls is starting this practice with the goal of feeling better.